Why Salman Khan should marry Rakhi Sawant as soon as possible!

Ever since Rakhi Sawant’s gaudy swayamvar landed her a disappointing Elesh Vada-pav, the foxy bimbo has been on the constant lookout for newer, greener pastures.

In a recent episode of Salman Khan’s much talked about show 10 Ka Dum, Ms. Sawant decided to toss all caution to the winds and shamelessly engage in some major Salman maska in her signature nautanki ishtyle. Insider reports claim that when Rakhi realized that her brain-dead responses wasn’t quite cutting it for her and partner Shakeel Siddiqui, she launched into a full-fledged nautch girl rendition of Dekhta hai tu kya, much to the bewilderment of a completely embarrassed Salman. And if that wasn’t agonizing enough, she then went on to thrust her surgically-enhanced bosom in Sallu’s face and demand that he marry her right there and then. Incredible!

Now, let’s imagine that Sallu bhai has a sudden lapse of common sense and good taste and decides to seriously take Rakhi up on her offer… the Khan khaandaan would finally create history as a complete all-star Bollywood family:

Failing actor-turned director-turned god-knows-what… check; hunky model turned not-so-successful villain… check; macho ‘wild child’ who refuses to grow up… check; buxom tart/item girl who has struck gold as a ‘dance show judge’… check; yet another tart who delivers unbeatable pearls of wisdom like jo dikhta hai, wahi bikta hai… check. With a few generous doses of Rakhi-isms, the Khan family will finally have all they need to create mega-Bollywood productions and rake in some big moolah, thanks to their very own family.

Now, if that doesn’t sound like a plan, I really don’t know what else will work for the hunky trio. Let’s face it Sallu miah, you may be as hot as hell, but you can’t act for nuts; Sohail’s career is best not spoken about; and Arbaaz… well, let’s just say that his only moment in the sun was that infamous coffee commercial with a much-naked Malaika Arora. And seriously, the bad boy vendettas, the constant Katrina drama and the failed supermodel relationships are getting a little stale.

The verdict? Buy Ms. Sawant that dratted ring already, and grant us – the bored audience – the mother of all reality shows… Salman ke 10 Swayamvar ka Dum.