Rakhee Sawant and Jesus Christ

I’m kind of at a loss of words to describe this phenomeon called Rakhee Sawant. Her many Swayamvars, fake parenting gigs, and in-your-face cleavage… I wouldn’t blink an eyelid at any of that, not any more at least.

But her latest status as a self-declared emissary of Jesus Christ has me stumped. And I’m totally zapped by her originality. There’s so many questions I’m dying to ask her. Here goes:

Why Jesus? Why poor Jesus? Somehow, I can accept Krishna as Rakhee’s preferred diety, but Jesus…? Hasn’t he suffered enough for humanity already?
Please do not act in this show, if you can do that one small favour for us. Please don’t take it in your head to be Mother Mary, and such. We’ll get really mixed up, and I’m not sure if we’ll ever be able to recover from such trauma.
You say you have got a research team in place now. Errr, what exactly are they going to tell the world about Jesus that we already don’t know?
Have you, in any way, been inspired by the success of Dan Brown’s books? (I hope to God the answer is no!) If yes, do you have any idea what kind of work actually went behind the success?
If not, can you please tell us what exactly made you go ‘holy’, all of a sudden? I can’t take this curiosity, really.

Rakhee, may I suggest an innovative game/reality show, the theme of which will be something like, ‘Guess what’s on Rakhee’s mind’ or ‘What will Rakhee come up with next?’ Categories can include: “Making X-Rated Videos”; “Shameless Fame and Money Hustling”; “New Ways To Get Cheap Publicity” and “Poor Emasculated Elesh”.

And by the way, any news of Elesh, a guy you once used to know?