Rakhi Sawant's mother — After Packup

It all began with the cheesy, televised Swayamvar, which had a very decadent and equally obnoxious Rakhi Sawant batting her fake eyelashes and dishing out her half-baked atrocious sound bytes at all and anyone who would care to listen.

Along came Mr. Elesh Parujanwala with his mighty promises of phirang lands and glorious riches. Not surprisingly, Ms. Sawant was only too eager to lap all of Elesh’s tall tales, and declared him to be the man she’d been waiting several lifetimes for.

Not one to be outdone, Mama Sawant realized that this disgusting Swayamvar could very well be her first and only shot at overnight celebrity status, and created a huge ruckus about Rakhi not asking for her ‘permission’ and ‘opinion’ about Elesh vada-pav.

Rakhi, being the insatiable fame-whore that she is, refused to allow Mama Sawant to the ‘most special day of her entire life’… which surprisingly, never took off after Elesh revealed his not-so-affluent origins and months-old unemployment.

By now, Mama Sawant has seen, heard and experienced enough. So, she decides to follow her inglorious, tarty daughter’s footsteps by making a bee-line for the attention-starved, humbug Bigg Boss series.

So, if Mama Sawant’s career graph is any indication of times to come, does this mean that also have to bear a melodramatic, well-past-her-prime, fame-mongering cougar offering lip-service to a dozen giddy, small-town males? And should push come to a shove, will Mama Sawant also proceed to thrust her silicon bosom at just about every other private party and shady awards’ ‘functions’?

Ewww…. And we thought Rakhi Sawant was bad news!

A special word to the makers of Bigg Boss: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???!!

Last time I checked, Bigg Boss was supposed to be (or was supposed to at least try to be) entertaining and creative. With the way things are shaping up, why don’t you just bunk Big B’s pseudo pop philosophy and rename the show as ‘Sawant Kutumb ki Chatt-patti batein’, or maybe ‘Jo dikhta hai, wahi bikta hai’ in classic Rakhi Sawant ishtyle?