Inspired By Daddy, Dimwit Amrita Rao Discusses The Science Of Bikini Bimboism

Amrita Rao is Maxim’s cover girl of the month.

Whoa boys, calm down and let’s back up a little bit. Yes, we all know that Maxim is risqué and can get a little steamy… and that’s only putting it mildly. Remember Mandira Body (oops… I mean Bedi) in her barely-there bikini and scandal-icious tattoos?

So, when Amrita Rao decides to throw all caution and other ghareloo sensibilities to the wind and bare-dare all for a Maxim photo shoot, the imagination does tend to run wild. After all, Ms. Rao’s strategic move blends in perfectly with her decision to shed the painful girl-next-door avatar and don the sex-kitten hat.

But ghar-ki-Ammu still has a lesson or two to learn from seasoned dhamaka pros like Sherlyn and Mallika… at least as far as sound bytes are concerned.

With Mallika and gang, their constant blabbering tries to border on double entendres and tongue-in-cheek puns, if not all-out sexual propaganda.

Ms. Rao on the other hand, can’t seem to make up her mind about whether saucy and sexy is her ball game, or whether she’s better off playing safe with her giddy, girly avatar.

So, the muddle-headed bimbo decides to swing both ways by thrusting her bosom in a teensy-tiny ganji-cum-smock, and then spout ghar-ki-bahu wisdom when asked for her opinion on bikinis and sexuality.

She claims: “My dad used to tell me that a woman should wear a bikini the day she has a body to flaunt it.” Geez woman, really? So, Papa Rao decides to come home from work one fine evening and have a heart-to-heart with his starlet daughter about how bikini-worthy her body is? Wow… seems like Bigg Boss 3 needs to bunk Big B and hire Papa Rao right this very instant, because we’ve got a number of women out there who have no business flaunting their flab in peek-a-boo negligees and they could sure use some of Papa Rao’s astute wisdom.

But, trust Ms. Rao to take an inch and stretch it to a mile. She goes on to state: “A bikini is just a two-piece suit that one wears to the beach. It’s not a bait to get more publicity and fans.”

Holy moly Einstein! You’ve just discovered the Bikini Theory of Relativity! So, let’s get out there, you and I, and smack those dim-witted trade gurus and fat-cat producers over their heads, until they finally learn that a bikini-hot bod won’t attract any publicity and/or fans, shall we?

For your words of wisdom are anything to go by, all those red-blooded males who would willingly pledge their lives to see Bipasha Basu rising from the sea, Bo Derek-style and shake the water from her damp hair, really don’t know what they’re getting into. In fact, they barely qualify as ‘fans’ at all!

But all seriousness aside, methinks Ms. Rao should stick to her Vivah and soppy bridal reality television for keeps. This systematic shedding of clothes seems to be directly proportional to the loss of gray matter from her pretty little inflated head. That, or get Maxim to tape her lips sealed tight until she finally realizes that her 2 seconds of fame were over more than 200 days ago.