From the category archives:
Sweetest
Can Sexy Sushmita Still Teach Plastic Bollywood Bimbos A Thing Or Two?
Nobody really cares when actresses like Hrishita Bhatt or Ayesha Takia go missing from the 8mm screen. But when sexy siren Sushmita Sen goes missing in action, one cannot help but wonder if there is a sexy black hole somewhere in the world where all these women are enjoying a spring break equivalent of forced retirement?
Well there has to be something in play here. Sushmita, famous for her long legs and sultry looks (and perhaps also for the maniacal grasp she sometimes has on ex boyfriends), is not someone who could slip into oblivion so easily. So I feel absolutely delighted when I hear about her comeback. Word around the water cooler is that Sushmita is bringing sexy back with a hot new item number in Do Knot Disturb.
The last I saw her in some shampoo ad, she had gained a lot of weight and was sporting a really chubby face. Soooooo disappointing for one of the most sexciting actresses to have ever graced the sets of Bollywood! If there’s anyone alive who can show this sorry crop of plastic Bollywood bimbos like Mallika Sherawat and Sherlyn Chopra what sultry and sexy is really all about, it is you Sushmita. They need to be reminded that sexy is an innate quality that is natural and comes from deep within a woman; it is not about boob jobs, ridiculous stunts and scampering around scantily clad in next-to-nothing outfits like a cheap 99 cents hooker.
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Vivek Oberoi never says die. According to recent reports, he has turned vegetarian. The change of palate happened while shooting for Kurbaan overseas. And when a journalist texted him to confirm this, Vivek broke into an essay message: “I never ever thought that I will call myself vegetarian. By virtue of being a half Punjabi and half Sikh, tandoori chicken was my staple diet. In fact, I remember teasing Kareena Kapoor during the shoot of Kurbaan saying, ‘Bebo, you are either a Punjabi or a vegetarian, choose one…’” and so on and on and on.
Maybe the guy was just dying to talk to another human being. Whatever the case may be, I hope this switch to vegetarianism does something to stop the never-ending whining and his propensity to fall in love with Tupperware. And, if that too doesn’t work, there’s always the Himalayas for some peace and quiet (for us while he’s gone).
But seriously though, we know we’ve knocked Vivek pretty hard in the past for his foolish choices, but this is one time he deserves kudos. It takes a real man to act compassionately with the welfare of animals in mind. For this decision he has earned our respect…and that is rarely given to any Bollywood brat. So take a bow Vivek!
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Yes, you’re reading right, and I am perfectly sober, in fact, rather chirpy on this beautiful morning. Exactly what happens when such delightful news comes your way: there will no more ‘K’ serials! Kyun Ki, Ms Kapoor has run out of ‘K’ titles. Aha… Kasam se, Kya Kool news hai!
Of course, this doesn’t mean that Ekta is out of business, no sir. It seems she’s moving on to more serious themes like the exploitation of domestic maids and the plight of the Vidarbha farmers. While a part of me wants to cheer her on, I am also uneasy about it, as we know our Ekta too well, by now, to trust such themes to her semi-demented interpretations.
Who knows, one glorious day Ekta might just run out of ’soapy’ ways to cheapen and trivialize sensitive and heart-wrenching human situations for fame and personal financial gain. Maybe one day to come it will happen…but as far as I can see, not in Bollywood and not in Ekta’s lifetime this time around!
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With a hot-headed boyfriend like Salman Khan to learn from, can Katrina Kaif be too far behind?
The supposedly-Indian actress who is competing against Priyanka Chopra for the India Youth Icon Award took a subtle swipe at the reigning tweeting Queen of Bollywood – Ms. Piggy Chops whose Twitter page is constantly updated with an endless stream of boring, predictable quotes.
Ms. Kaif, who recently announced her intentions to launch her own official website made a snide, catty remark about the social-media addiction Ms.Chops has been suffering from lately. She says:
I don’t think it’s cool to let people know where I am or what I’m doing throughout the day… I guess my life is not an open Facebook.”
Sleek move Katrina… you may not be our outstanding role model when it comes to authenticity, but you sure know how to deliver a spiteful verbal salvo against a rival when needed. Sallu Bhai would be proud. Ms. Chopra, over to you now!
Oh, and for all those Katrina Kaif Twitter freaks out there who are swooning at Kat’s allegations of a lazy Salman, the Twitter account is every bit as fake as Ms. Kaif’s so-called Indian ancestry.
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Yesterday Doordarshan turned 50. Like most Indians growing up in the 1980s, I remember eagerly waiting for the progammes to start at 6 in the evening on weekdays. Never mind if it was only Krishi Darshan; we, the first generation of Indian couch potatoes, were well and truly glued to the television set.
Now, of course, I’d almost forgotten its existence, yet was glad to see the first women of Indian television, the news readers, back on TV yesterday. I strongly feel that the screaming scribes of today like Rajdeep Sardesai and his wife Sagarika Ghose have a lot to learn from the likes of Salma Sultana, Rini Khanna-Simon, Minu, Sunit Tandon and others who delivered news in their sober and measured style night after night.
Salma and Rini were on Barkha Dutt’s The Buck Stops Here yesterday night, and when on Barkha’s request, Salma signed off the show, somehow, it felt like going home.
It’s hard not to be nostalgic today, thinking of all the wonderful and endearing serials of the DD years like Nukkad, Mungeri Lal Ki Haseen Sapne, Byomkesh Bakshi, and so on. Today’s TV culture with its many channels and hundreds of shows – ‘reality’ or otherwise – pales before such icons as Rajani, a firebrand character played by Priya Tendulkar. The Ekta Kapoors of the world will never be able to create anything that even comes close to Rajani.
I also heard that it’s goodbye for the Onida Devil, who symbolized television for us back then. ‘Neighbour’s envy, owner’s pride,’ may not hold much water now, with a vast change in today’s status symbols, but it was bang on then.
So, bye bye, devil dear.You’ll definitely be missed.
Congratulations Doordarshan for hanging in there all these years …. hope you can spruce up and re-create the magic.
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Sanjay Dutt is a survivor. Any lesser person wouldn’t have scraped through the stuff that Sanju’s been through, that’s for sure. He is perhaps the first of the real Bollywood bad boys but he’s paid a very high price for his rebelliousness…. as we all know.
Sanjay has survived only because he learns fast. After the Samajwadi Party fared badly in the Lok Sabha elections, Sanju realized that politics couldn’t be his refuge, after all, and that he should get back to doing what he does best: acting, while he still has a few good years left.
At 50 plus, you can’t be too hopeful in Bollywood, and Sanju has been very lucky to be included in a mega-budget movie like Blue.
Of course, we all know why Dutt junior took to politics. It wasn’t to become the Prime Minister of India. I am sure our Munna Bhai would be happy if he just managed to stay out of jail.
But Sanju should realize that he’s a nobody in politics, and if he loses ground in Bollywood and gets reduced to being Zero No.1, then even Mr Amar Singh might not want to be his friend any more.
So, all in all, a smart move Sanju. But don’t do an overkill of movies, please! Much as we respect your resilience and courage, there’s only so much of haggardness we can take!
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No more first-class freebies for lazy, fat cat gov’t ministers!
In a commendable effort to gain the sympathy and support of a drought and economic recession-hit vote bank, the Congress-led Government declared an austerity drive to shave away all unnecessary and avoidable expenditure of hard-earned tax-payer revenue. A few proposed downgrades include economy class travel and curtailing of any needless five-star accommodation, funds from which can be diverted towards other, more pressing issues like reviving the failing economy.
Brilliant idea, but not one which went down very well with our pampered, bureaucratic fat cats who came up with the most preposterous of theories about why they ‘deserve’ top class service… never mind the starving farmers who commit suicide in increasing numbers with every passing day.
First in line was union Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar who claimed that travelling business class allowed ministers comfort, privacy and even allowed them to clear files while flying. Up next was Commerce minister Anand Sharma who didn’t just insist travel by first class for international flights, but also demanded an increase in daily allowance. Mr. Sharma was soon joined by our Minister for Renewable Resources Farooq Abdullah who declared that a “tall person like him could not travel in economy class”. His sentiment was echoed by a persistent Mr. Pawar who said his bulk necessitated business and first class travel. There’s a much cheaper solution to your problem Mr Pawar …it’s called a diet and it won’t cost the taxpayers a cent.
Dear netajis, sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t see how any of so-called problems measure against entire villages starving to death, and rampant unemployment and homelessness.
Luckily for us, our netas soon saw reason, especially when Congress President Sonia Gandhi and Pranab Mukherjee took it upon themselves to lead by example and were among the first to make the move to a cheaper, more budget friendly way of governance.
In Mr. Mukherjee’s words:
‘‘Why this fuss? I have been taking economy class flights since my time in the Narasimha Rao government. I have travelled economy class during election campaigns. There is nothing unusual in it.”
Bravo Mr. Finance Minister. We only hope that the memorial-obsessed Mayawati government is paying close attention.
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Lisa Ray, the one with the super-delicate looks and absolutely great skin, has an ugly cancer called ‘Multiple Myeloma’. It is widely known to be incurable, but Lisa would like to believe it can be cured. She calls herself a ‘Dirty Realist’ on her blog for thinking so.
In one word, Lisa, you are a fighter. And a very rare, almost out-of-place person in the movie business, to be so forthcoming about your illness. To not care about the films you might lose out on, to not care about how the steroids may eventually change the way you look, and most of all, to express yourself so lucidly and creatively at a time when most people in a similar situation would be crying and asking, ‘Why is this happening to me?’
Not you, Lisa. And we cheer you on from the bottom of our heart. Though it’s easy for us to say this, we hope you will remain hard core positive always and we’ll pray for you. You are an inspiration to every one of us with your courage and indomitable spirit. We are in awe of you.
Sending all our love and prayers from AfterPackup!
(The clip above is from Lisa’s movie I Can’t Think Straight, which was released in India recently. Lisa is awesome in the movie, as always, of course!)
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The makers of Bigg Boss are running out of ideas… and fast. After boring their viewers to tears with two seasons of full-blown nautanki (courtesy a cheap Rakhi Sawant and a sleazy faux romance featuring Monica Bedi and Rahul Mahajan), they are now planning to rope none other than yoga guru extraordinaire Baba Ramdev who is most famous for his controversial statements about ‘item girls and their impact on the modern youth’.
Hmmm… interesting indeed. So, considering that this deal ever does take shape, here’s what we can eventually expect from Bigg Bore, sorry Bigg Boss Season 3.
Day One: Baba Ramdev enters the Bigg Boss House (or whatever the tacky sets are called) with the others. These include your mandatory failing actor who no one can remember, an overly voluptuous ‘item girl’, a few other regional ‘celebrities’ who look more like your local goons and last but not least, a reality show winner / an underworld moll / the producer’s distant cousin or whoever seems controversial enough to stir the house into a scripted tizzy.
Day Two: Baba Ramdev imposes mandatory yoga after waking up at 4 am EVERY morning, and compulsory ‘lauki ka juice’. Item girl also gets a earful about how her provocative jhatkas and matkas are ‘spoiling the youth’, upon which Bigg Boss has a private meeting with Babaji to discuss the mysterious relationship between tiny bikinis and soaring TRPs.
Day Three: Life goes on
Day Four: The producers get really bored and decide to invite Celina Jaitley for a surprise encounter with Baba Ramdev.
Day Five: Celina shows up in her teensy-tiny skirt and a huge lecture for Baba Ramdev about how he is a Kaurav and has treated her like Draupadi. She claims that his remarks about her changing boyfriends are just like Draupadi’s vastraharan. Baba Ramdev gently reminds her that the virus of homosexuality has pervaded her heart and soul which is why, she can’t think straight… pun intended.
Day Six: Just for fun, the producers throw in Bobby Darling.
Day Seven: Baba Ramdev can’t bear the atrocities against him, and much to the relief of the other inmates, finally walks out. Audience loses interest and the series ends as predictably as it does, every other time.
A week later, Shilpa Shetty writes a book about ‘Bigg Boss ki Bheetari Baat’ and sells the rights to Penguin, in a last-ditch effort to avoid being deported from the UK.
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Preity Zinta is doing an item number in Salman Khan’s Main Aur Mrs Khanna. And can you believe it- her look, outfit and jhatka-matkas are eerily similar to Aishwarya Rai’s in Kajra Re. Talk about co-incidences, phew!
Hey, I’m not jumping to any conclusions here, no way. Nor am I creating a storm in a teacup….
But I get the distinct feeling that apna Sallu Bhai hasn’t been able to get Aishwarya out of his system yet. Yeah, a modern, though covert Devdas. And that’s the reason why he’s got good friend Preity to imitate Ash’s every Kajra re nuance in this item number!
And it’s not the first time that Salman’s done this. Remember a certain Sneha Ullal- Ash’s lookalike whom he had introduced in that movie Lucky? Salman’s dictate seems to be- if you can’t get the original, do the next best thing– get a stand in.
If only Salman could do that in his love life too. Poor Sallu Bhai….even after all these years, to think that Aish can still affect him like this way. That must have been one intense love affair.
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