From the category archives:
Sweetest
Is Desperate Vinod Kambli Trying To Use Sachin Tendulkar To Further His Political Ambitions?
Filed under : Sweetest, Vinod Kambli
Remember Vinod Kambli? Yes, he of the unbeaten test cricket record-fame, which included two double centuries and two centuries in merely 7 tests. Unfortunately, the erstwhile blue-eyed boy of Indian cricket’s hard partying habits soon caught up with him, which combined with several other not-so-savory factors led to his ouster and subsequent fall from cricket’s ivory Hall of Fame.
After a dismal Bollywood run, Kambli’s once illustrious career soon disintegrated into shambles, prompting him to look for other, more lucrative avenues. Then came Sacch Ka Saamna – the desi spin-off of the immensely popular Moment of Truth. Perched on the hot-seat, Kambli made several bold and very startling claims about being discriminated against on the basis of his caste and color. What’s more, he even went on to blame Sachin Tendulkar for ‘not lending him a helping hand’ when his fledgling cricket career took a steep nosedive.
After all this tamasha, Kambli cleverly retracted his comments, stating that he had never said anything against Tendulkar or The Indian Cricket Board.
Surprised? Don’t be. It so turns out that Kambli’s apparent love-hate relationship with Tendulkar may merely be a ploy to get the Master-Blaster to canvass for him for the Maharashtra Assembly Elections.
Our man Kambli, who had no qualms whatsoever about pointing fingers at everyone except himself for his downfall, is all to eager to eat his words… just so that he can cash in on Tendulkar’s mega-popularity and success.
Kambli, we know that you haven’t had it easy, but given the kind of reputation you’ve earned yourself with all the hard partying and poor performance, the least you can do is choose your side of the fence and plant your backside firmly to it. Hopping to and fro with bizarre allegations of ‘racial discrimination’ and playing the stereotyped ‘blame game’ doesn’t win you any popularity points, at least not with the millions of Tendulkar fans who have been watching cricket long enough to sort fact from bogus hot air.
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Kapoor Family Dotes On Diva Sonam And Sweet Abhay Deol Turns Sour
Filed under : Abhay Deol, Sweetest
If there was one word I could use to sum up Abhay Deol, it would have to be ‘unassuming’. Yes, I know that the Deol cousins are known for their no-fuss, no-airs attitude and their relentless camaraderie, but Abhay Deol seems to lead the pack… especially as far as mild-manners and politeness are concerned.
But lately, it seems, the youngest Deol lad hasn’t been taking too well to the expensive designer nakhras of his co-star Sonam Kapoor, who plays his romantic love interest (and also the lead role) in the up-and-coming Kapoor family production named Aisha. The plot, which is a spin-off on Jane Austen’s unfinished masterpiece, revolves around a giddy-headed Sonam Kapoor, who has been more in the spotlight for her fancy, insanely exorbitant designer threads than her acting talent (or the lack of it).
Rumor has it that Deol Jr. couldn’t quite come to terms with the fact that the doting Kapoors were willing to spend more than his entire remuneration for the film, on darling beti’s hair and costume.
So, he decided to come up with some nakhras of his own, which were carefully planned to give the film’s financiers some serious heartache and a considerably lighter bank balance. Abhay insisted on eating custom-made food prepared by his handpicked (and very pricey) chef throughout the duration of the shoot.
Now, if Abhay’s newfound gourmet palette is just an attention-seeking ruse, it sure has had the effect he intended. Badi behen Rhea Kapoor, who besides being the producer of the film is also Sonam’s elder sister, can’t quite fathom how to budget Abhay’s star-studded tastes, or even worse… why a usually reticent Abhay decided to suddenly act up on her.
Rhea dah-ling, sorry to break your pretty little heart, but here in Bollywood, the magnitude of a star is directly proportional to the number of frazzled assistants fussing around him. So, if you choose to treat Abhay like a second-hand citizen, you can rest assured that this chota lion of Punjab won’t take your snub all too well.
In fact, so would I, if I were in Abhay’s shoes. For all the hype and hoopla surrounding Sonam, you still have to remember that the girl is only 2 films old, and hasn’t quite gained the acting accolades to throw her weight around. What’s more, her credibility as an actor has scant to do with her histrionics… rather, all we ever hear about Sonam is her expansive wardrobe of Lanvin and Herve Leger smocks, and expensive bauble.
Contrast this to a not-so-dashing Deol who has worked hard to climb up the popularity polls with commendable performances in Dev D.Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd. and , and it’s obvious why the jat refuses to take your ‘Sonam-mania’ lying down.
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Aamir Khan is all set to play the legendary singer Kishore Kumar in a movie. And, this, could be Mr Perfectionist’s biggest challenge ever.
Because, it really cannot be easy to play Kishore Kumar, someone who bubbled talent and oozed dynamism from each pore of his body. Most of our actors pale out in comparison, actually. And Aamir, too, I have to say, despite his acting prowess seems somewhat sedate at times. So, I am sure this will be the challenge of a lifetime for Aamir. And for Kishore Kumar’s sake, I hope he overcomes the challenge. This movie can either be very good or can bomb. Can’t be any grey areas for this movie.
But you do have to credit Aamir with shaping up the movie, which was originally intended to be a Kishore Kumar biopic and was spreading itself much too thin. Aamir suggested that the movie instead revolve around the romance between Kishore Kumar and Madhubala. I think that’s a fine suggestion.
Oh, and Vidya Balan may play Madhubala. Well, it is true that among the current crop of actors, Vidya is the one who can carry a retro look pretty well, but of course, she is no match for Madhubala. No one can ever be, in fact.
Aamir Khan has chiselled at his creativity to arrive at a certain style, and now he will have to portray someone who was a sort of impromptu genius. This should be a good watch.
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I am waiting with bated breath for Madhur Bhandrakar’s Jail. This, not because I am an avid fan… Good God no! Heaven forbid if such an unfortunate event ever occurred! Unlike my nitpicking, carping sister, I am waiting for his upcoming movie because I am really looking forward to the full monty of Bollywood’s breath of fresh air, aka Neil Nitin Mukesh.
He claims he was embarrassed when he first discussed doing the scene with Madhur. He was wondering how his family would take it. Thank God, he didn’t listen to the voice of reason and decided to go au naturel.
For all you women out there, Neil has stripped completely and you will be able to see a lot of skin on him! And girls, if we’re in luck, Bhandarkar’s camera will slip and give us a sneak peek of something more! Whew! Where’s the fire brigade? This hottie is sending temperatures soaring to dangerous levels. And girls, let’s be honest here….we need a new drool tool now that cranky pre-pensioners Sallu and SRK are losing hair, muscle tone and credibility.
The only thing we need to see now is whether a hot guy stripping completely in a movie draws as much a crowd as the antics of the bouncy, boob-brigade bimbos like Rakhi Sawant or Sherlyn Chopra.
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There was once a time when Yash Raj Films lay the rules about what was kosher in Bollywood-land. And so, for a good two decades, generations of desi audiences were brought up on sappy bubblegum romances, the occasional family drama and bucket-loads of glycerin tears.
Enter the early 21st century when names like Fox, Warner Bros., and Universal Studios became common knowledge, www.imdb.com was no longer a vague site intended for gora moviegoers, and the Minority Report generation who began demanding sound scripts which actually made sense to anyone above the age of 2. Flummoxed, our fat cat producers, and rip-off directors flew into a tizzy, grabbing at darker, ‘more meaningful’ plots (whatever that means) and more intense acting.
Apart from the occasional Dil Chahta Hai and Lagaan, theater-goers were still unimpressed. What’s worse, the Indian Film Association had now woken up to the existence of foreign entries into the Golden Globe Awards, and a mandatory requirement for participation was ‘no plagiarism’.
Once again, Bollywood went through a major cinematic revolution, and we began to receive movies like Black, Salaam Namaste, and other more ‘youthful’, ‘current’ themes. As an afterthought, our filmmakers began to study Hollywood with a renewed interest, in order to decipher what exactly it is that Warner and Co. do, that RGV Productions couldn’t replicate.
The answer? Superhero and Science Fiction.
The idea caught on like a blazing fire. So, we had Krissh with its ‘faster than a horse’ Hritik Roshan (desi Superman anyone?) and 2050: A Love Story starring Hurman Baweja, Piggy Chops and titli raani. While Krissh did moderately well, filmmakers could not fathom how to recreate a superhero who didn’t look, talk and walk exactly like Krissh. So, they turned to science fiction.
The disastrous reception of 2050: A whatever story notwithstanding, our filmmakers decided to give Science Fiction another go, especially given the mega bucks that could roll in should the success of Koi Mil Gaya be recreated.
And so, at the fag end of 2009, we are faced with not one, but two mega-budget science-fiction ventures:
- There’s Ra 1: Starring SRK as a super robot who works for an intelligence agency.
- There’s Magic Man starring Neil Nitin Mukesh. What magic has to do with science is still an issue that boggles the mind, but I guess we’ll just have to wait for some promos to figure out exactly how ‘magical’ science can be.
Given our desi Bollywood frat’s penchant for over-exaggeration and masala, I just hope we don’t have to deal with a very handsome super robot who falls in love with a super robot-ess, and has little super-robot children, and only solves crimes when he isn’t busy wooing the super robot in-laws and fighting super robot jealous ex-boyfriend. Not to mention breaking the momentum of the plot every 10 minutes to start lavish song and dance routines with a 200 hundred other vacuous-looking robots in tow.
And please people, if we’re going to be spending crores of rupees on hiring unnecessarily expensive stars, let’s also set aside some budget for special effects so that your movie doesn’t end up looking and sounding like a 5th grade science project, shall we?
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Given his track record of making movies inspired by real life, I had been wondering what Madhur Bhandarkar’s next movie Jail would be based on. And it now turns out that at least some of the inspiration is from the infamous BMW case of Sanjeev Nanda and Alistair Pereira.
Now, this is what I like about this guy. He has the guts and the will to handle a tough, real subject. Something, which we can never expect from the likes of Karan Johar and company. Even Ram Gopal Verma’s movies, for that matter, dish out doses of un-reality, albeit in the realm of the gory and the mysterious. He did give us some good ones like Kaun and Bhooth, for instance, and Rangeela, of course, but lately he has lost his touch, and keeps losing it more with every subsequent film.
Anyway, Bhandarkar keeps exploring the life each one of us lives, and never fails to surface with something that shakes us up. Of course, he does make it filmy, can’t blame him for that though. No one wants to watch documentaries, and everyone wants BO success in order to survive.
So, I am actually looking forward to Jail, stuffed as I am with regular Bollywood fare like Love Aaj Kal, etc. Also, in this age of ‘made-up reality’ shows, I’m choking for something that I won’t find too hard to believe.
But Bhandarkar is snipping Jail ruthlessly here and there to appease the dreadful Indian Censor Board. After doing away with a nude scene of Neil Nitin Mukesh, he’s also left a masturbation scene out, it seems. Let’s pray that in his efforts to compromise, we don’t end up with something that looks like it’s a hybrid between KJo and RGV’s creations. Argh!
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Moon Madness? NASA Has To Point Out Mega-Success To Bickering ISRO Scientists
Filed under : Chandrayaan-I, Sweetest
India’s maiden lunar mission Chandrayaan-1 experienced serious technical difficulties taking along with it any last shred of solidarity our country’s brightest minds could ever boast of. We found fault with the sun, and even pointed fingers at each other for supposed miscalculations and bloated promises, without so much as even sparing a thought for the enormous breakthrough this mission really was… at least in terms of scientific advancement.
It took a full-fledged press release by NASA to remind us of the spectacular success we had achieved, all thanks to the hundreds of brilliant, diligent minds at work at ISRO, which signified a milestone accomplishment in space study, not just for India, but for mankind as a whole.
Our so-called failed mission discovered water molecules on the surface of the moon, dispelling all prior notions that the moon was a barren, arid rock.
In NASA’s very own words:
We want to thank ISRO for making the discovery possible. The moon till now was thought to be a very dry surface with lot of rocks. Discovery of water on the moon is a major leap in our knowledge of the moon. NASA’s instruments helped finding the water molecules in collaboration with ISRO.”
Why is water on the moon so remarkable?
Well, for one, it opens up the possibility of growing vegetation on Earth’s natural satellite, an accomplishment that can open up doors for lunar colonies in the not-so-distant future. So, all you Asimov buffs… the future has arrived. And we have none other than ISRO and Chandrayaan-1 to thank for this very important finding.
So, instead of ruining the sweet taste of success with sour blame-games, let’s celebrate our country’s true moment in the sun. ISRO, please stop bickering long enough to take a well-deserved bow!
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No one can forget the desperate one-upmanship done by Amir and Shah Rukh when Gajini and Rabb Ney were slated for release at the same time. Shah Rukh Khan aka “The biggest brand in the country” and Aamir Khan “I am an idiot and Shah Rukh is intelligent” battled it out rather publicly while promoting their films. It got so heated they named dogs after their rivals!
Surprisingly though, hothead bad boy Salman has chosen a more sophisticated way of promoting his film Wanted. He refuses to talk about the other two Khans to avoid anything that distracts the focus on his movie. He is more accommodating to journalists and has even linked promos with charities like the NGO Umang in Jaipur.
Seems like along with hair loss Salman has gained maturity and wisdom. Maybe the hair doctors who did the hair transplants in Dubai must have secretly tinkered with his brain cells a bit during the operations ’cause Sallu is finally showing some signs of good judgment and good taste.
Way to go Sallu…long overdue for our balding, middle aged, vendetta-carrying Bollywood baddie. Hope it lasts for the remaining few years of his career.
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After the all-hype, no-substance Austerity Drive which ultimately ended with exorbitant Italian toilets and cattle-holy-cow remarks, our neta babus decided that it was high time to make good with the aam junta.
And so, our young crown prince Rahul Gandhi set out on his inexpensive steed without any special security to schmooze with the UP masses. No sooner did Mayawati and Co. get wind of Mr. Gandhi’s surprise visit, than they dashed out immediate press conferences condemning his actions and even stating that they would lodge a formal complaint against him.
Their excuse?
The recent attacks on the Shatabdi Express bearing a merrily austere Rahul Gandhi. And just in case you begin to conjure fancy mental images of nuclear weapon-toting terrorists, let me clarify: the miscreants in question were four random stone-throwing youths who has some personal grouse with Mr. Gandhi.
A matter of concern? Yes.
But horrifying enough to commission NATO troops for Mr. Gandhi’s personal protection? Definitely no.
So, what was the purpose of Mr. Gandhi’s mysterious visit? He claims it was to assess the status of Priyadarshini – a self-help group that was first introduced in 2002. The Mayawati government however claims that his intention was to steal Mayawati’s largely Dalit and backward caste-dominated vote bank, by masquerading as a neo-Messiah to them.
Mayawatiji, clandestine visits aside, if you’d actually stopped your memorial-building spree long enough to actually study the plight of your vote bank yourself instead of blinding them with thousands of false promises, you wouldn’t have to face this day of trial, trepidation and insecurity. So, regardless of what Mr. Chocolate Boy’s ulterior motives are, if he actually ends up doing some good to the masses even as a collateral, it’s all in the best benefit of the country.
The Good of the People – isn’t that what your job is actually all about? Or have you forgotten?
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After many months of beating about the bush with their ‘now you see it/now you don’t’ relationship, Salman Khan and Katrina Turquotte (we refuse to call her Kaif for ethical reasons) have finally decided to call it off for good… or so it seems.
According to latest reports from a leading Mumbai rag, the couple didn’t just walk in separately to a happening filmi do, but also made it a point to avoid each other all evening. Trouble brewing in paradise?
If you’ve been following this blog for a while now, you’ll agree when I say it’s no huge surprise.
But for those of you who still don’t get it, here’s a quick rundown of reasons why Sallu and Kat’s jodi isn’t really meant to be:
- Age:
I know most people say that ‘age is only a number’, but when it comes to Sallu and Kat, the age difference is a huge factor for the frequent rocky patches in Sallu-Katrina love land. Kat is decades younger to Sallu, which is why, his been-there-done-that attitude doesn’t jibe too well with his much younger lover. - Sallu likes his women a certain way:
By ‘certain way’, we mean no short skirts, no hanging out with other male co-stars, no talking to people whom Sallu miah has a grouse with and a huge laundry list of what’s allowed versus what isn’t. - Katrina’s no meek billi:
Although Katrina’s holier-than-thou public persona has earned her accolades in recent times, the coy and demure Kat wasn’t always this way. In fact, her first mentor Ayesha Shroff even goes so far as to say that Kat was ever-eager to bare and dare all… until she latched on to Sallu to help build a Bollywood career. - Katrina is ambitious:
No, make that ‘very ambitious’. The woman knows what she wants and is more than willing to do whatever it takes to make it there. (Read: fake name, conscious image makeover, snippy but politically-correct comments about her costars) - Sallu wants to settle down:
No prizes for guessing that getting married and having babies doesn’t go down to smoothly with Katrina’s vision of her up and coming ‘happening career’.
So, when Sallu and Kat finally bite the bullet and come clean about their long-overdue split, don’t forget: you read it here first!
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