From the category archives:

Sushmitha Sen

Smiles and camraderie eh ladies?

Put two aging and feuding beauty queens together, in the same movie and you’ll expect feathers to fly right? Well nothing of the sort happened when Sushmita Sen and Lara Dutta were given co-starring roles in the David Dhawan comedy Do Knot Disturb.

Thankfully both self-appointed divas realised that no one’s really interested in exploiting some old, stale catfight that may have happened years ago (yawn…who cares?) and were able able to push aside their differences and give professional performances. Good move ladies. You are no longer in your prime and neither one of you counts as an A list, in-demand actress.

You must have realized that with sexy, young controversial tarts and starlets clawing their way into the Bollywood limelight, it is best that you practice some age-appropriate behaviour and act with dignity and self-respect. It might earn you some much-needed acting roles in the future and it saved us from having to endure another dull, insignificant and media-overblown hype story about nothing at all.

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Nobody really cares when actresses like Hrishita Bhatt or Ayesha Takia go missing from the 8mm screen. But when sexy siren Sushmita Sen goes missing in action, one cannot help but wonder if there is a sexy black hole somewhere in the world where all these women are enjoying a spring break equivalent of forced retirement?

Well there has to be something in play here. Sushmita, famous for her long legs and sultry looks (and perhaps also for the maniacal grasp she sometimes has on ex boyfriends), is not someone who could slip into oblivion so easily. So I feel absolutely delighted when I hear about her comeback. Word around the water cooler is that Sushmita is bringing sexy back with a hot new item number in Do Knot Disturb.

The last I saw her in some shampoo ad, she had gained a lot of weight and was sporting a really chubby face. Soooooo disappointing for one of the most sexciting actresses to have ever graced the sets of Bollywood! If there’s anyone alive who can show this sorry crop of plastic Bollywood bimbos like Mallika Sherawat and Sherlyn Chopra what sultry and sexy is really all about, it is you Sushmita. They need to be reminded that sexy is an innate quality that is natural and comes from deep within a woman; it is not about boob jobs, ridiculous stunts and scampering around scantily clad in next-to-nothing outfits like a cheap 99 cents hooker.

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Either director Devang Dholkia and producer Sunil Pathare are being royally stood up, or something’s really wrong with Hrishitaa Bhatt. In any case, apparently no one’s heard of or seen the woman in the last few days!

I can’t believe it. Kudos to her! I mean, how could the girl be so insightful? When people like Amitabh Bachchan are still about with their walking sticks and botoxed cheeks, I must say this girl has shown maturity far beyond her years to realize her time’s up and she must make her exit.

I can think of quite a few people who could similarly and helpfully disappear: Sushmitha Sen, Shilpa Shetty, Bipasha Basu, Rakhee Sawant (yes, age is not the only criterion), Saurav Ganguly… Hmm, the list goes on.

What a world it would be where we could start afresh with new faces, real talent and most importantly some brand new ruses for publicity.

I’ll keep hoping, I will.

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Ekta Chaudhary’s mom thinks her baby didn’t win the pageant because this year’s preference was for blondes. I don’t know what she based her research on, but Stefania Fernandez doesn’t look blonde from any angle to me.

Ekta simply doesn’t have ‘it’. And it’s not just me saying so. She’d find it difficult to be remembered with clothes off, not to speak of her impending doom with her clothes on.

Ekta’s career plan looked something like this about a week ago:

Miss Universe crown = Hollywood + New York

It’s now been humbly realigned to:

No crown = Bollywood (hopefully) + amchi Mumbai; else, drown.

But, girl, I should tell you: Bollywood’s really no place for losers. If anything, it’s a far more competitive and cruel place than your ramp. Aishwarya and Sushmitha have made it alright, but not before they had their (more than) fair share of flops. Also, do remember that they were not also-rans.

Among the other beauty queens, no one’s doing half as well as Priyanka Chopra, with Dia Mirza popping up now and then from God-knows-where and Celina Jaitley being remembered mostly as ’smooch queen’.

Moral of the story: we don’t need no bag-of-skin-and-bones models. If we want wooden faces, we have Om Puri (whom you could never ever match up to in the acting department, which is movies used to be about anyway!).

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Vidya Balan has lost a couple of inches, and is all the worse for it! She will no longer fit into her old clothes designed by the likes of Sabysachi, Priyadarshini Rao and Abu Sandeep which cost her close to Rs 3,00,000!!

But Vidya, look at the silver lining: you can now try to get into size zero clothes, Bebo-ishtyle, eh? And make up for the loss by grabbing more ‘plum’ roles. As for those clothes that don’t fit you any more, maybe you could just pass them on to Sush. Poor thing, didnt have a single release in the last year. I’m sure she will appreciate it.

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