After Packup » Shilpa Shetty

Desperate Shilpa Shetty Postpones Marriage For Last Ditch Chance At Bollywood Success

Lola — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:26:30 +0000

Let’s face it. Shilpa Shetty’s love life may be all hunky-dory but her professional life’s definitely seeing red. She has all the makings of a Bollywood diva. She’s beautiful, she’s leggy, she’s dumb, she’s been in a reality show and managed to win it and she’s even had an affair with a super star – Akshay Kumar. Unfortunately for her, she’s never ruled Bollywood like many before and after her.

Still, you have to give it to her for trying. In the fag end of her career, she’s managed to belt out a reality show victory overseas. With that, she’s also managed to rage controversies by being generous with her kisses. Now she’s all set to get married to a multimillionaire. Things are going her way it seems, but not quite.

Bollywood success still eludes her. That’s still a race where she’s nowhere in sight. She may be pinning her hopes on this last one where she’s paired up with the old and sagging super screamer Sunny Deol. She’s even postponed her marriage for this. Of course, dear old Sunny coaxed her into it… but what’s a little nuptial delay when fame and success are on the line for two faded, almost forgotten Bollywood also-rans.

Needless to say, anyone with a sense of humour would be curious about this ‘fame and success’ which both Shilpa and Sunny are envisioning because the last I checked, no one really gave a damn about either of these showbiz losers. It’s not as if fans (what fans?) are waiting with bated breath for their next offering.

Shilpa honey, take my advice and tie the knot with your millionaire fiance as soon as possible instead of chasing these pie-in-the-sky dreams of big time Bollywood fame and fortune. It isn’t going to happen in this lifetime! And you may well end up losing Raj Kundra in the process when he finally wakes and realizes that he’s just a consolation prize you’ve settled for reluctantly because the bigger Bollywood fishes just didn’t bite in spite of your best efforts over the years.

Squeeze a bit more!

Is Rani Mukherjee Losing Her Passion and Fire?

Lola — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 09:41:10 +0000

Rani Mukherjee was asked if she was contemplating buying a stake in IPL teams but she refuses to follow the example of Shilpa, Priety and Juhi and buy an IPL team. She says she has no money. Well, that is not surprising. Her movies are not raking in too much moolah these days. Think Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic and the other one with Saif …… yeah Tara Rum Pum.

Well at least she plays a cricket buff in Dil Bole Hadippa.

She thinks she can’t take on such a big responsibility as owning an IPL team. The timid girl won’t venture into film production or direction either. Her movies aren’t getting rave reviews and she faces the risk of fading away soon if she doesn’t take a big chance at something important in her life.

What’s wrong with you Rani? Where’s that risk-taking passion and fire that wowed your fans in earlier times? Have you become so uninspired and bloated with earlier success that you’ve surrendered yourself to the lazy Bollywood comfort zone?

Squeeze a bit more!

Ekta Chaudhary: tattoos, tackiness and ten minutes of fame

Lola — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:48:20 +0000

Dear Ekta Chaudhary. I am really sorry that you couldn’t become an ambassador of world peace (isn’t that what you girls secretly think you are?) Though I don’t give a damn about the show, please don’t drag it in the mud with your completely thoughtless innuendoes about the pageant being racially biased. We know that this trump card worked for Shilpa Shetty in Big Brother, but if you use it ever too often, it will lose its charm.

Oh and by the way, if you’re worried about your ‘unconventional looks and six tattoes not being right for Bollywood’ then let me draw your attention to a certain infamous item girl of the industry who has been braving her tattooed body through the many ups and downs of Bollywood. Ms. Ekta, meet Ms. Rakhi Sawant.

Might I suggest taking on a ‘reality show’ route to success. It’s been tried and tested you know and contestants have been known to enjoy their 10 minutes of fame (15 minutes of fame is for the bona fide Bollywood toadies). Oh and by the way, a movie with Abhay Deol? Really? Tell me, do you think your brain might need a little tweaking before you make any more stupid, career-crushing decisions?

Squeeze a bit more!

Hrishita Bhatt goes missing? Thank heavens for small mercies!

Lola — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 08:30:43 +0000

Either director Devang Dholkia and producer Sunil Pathare are being royally stood up, or something’s really wrong with Hrishitaa Bhatt. In any case, apparently no one’s heard of or seen the woman in the last few days!

I can’t believe it. Kudos to her! I mean, how could the girl be so insightful? When people like Amitabh Bachchan are still about with their walking sticks and botoxed cheeks, I must say this girl has shown maturity far beyond her years to realize her time’s up and she must make her exit.

I can think of quite a few people who could similarly and helpfully disappear: Sushmitha Sen, Shilpa Shetty, Bipasha Basu, Rakhee Sawant (yes, age is not the only criterion), Saurav Ganguly… Hmm, the list goes on.

What a world it would be where we could start afresh with new faces, real talent and most importantly some brand new ruses for publicity.

I’ll keep hoping, I will.

Squeeze a bit more!

Bipasha and Shilpa- A Pitiful Tale of Two Have-beens

Lola — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 06:15:30 +0000

Shilpa Shetty is starting work on her home-production – an all-girls action film starring Bipasha Basu and herself in parallel action roles a la desi Charlie’s Angels. Aargh, noooooo….!!!!

Shilpa’s career has been in the doldrums for the longest possible time. She’s taken to selling poppadoms and chicken curry now to keep herself busy.

Even Bipasha is in the twilight of her career. Take a peek at her recent films- super-duds in Aa Dekhen Zara and Goal, and a bit role in Bachna Ae Haseeno where she doesn’t even get the hero in the end. Her only hit in a long, long time was Race and even they’ve chucked her out of Race-II. Poor thing!

So when two have-beens come together, what do you get- a movie that’s gonna set the box office on fire?

Naah! What you get is the biggest dud of the year, lots of precious moolah down the drain and a rotten egg of a movie.

What do you think???

Squeeze a bit more!

Desperate Shilpa’s popping poppadoms now

Lola — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:30:40 +0000

It’s amazing what a Bollywood has-been will do, when starved of juicy projects to salvage her non-existent career. Case in point being Shilpa Shetty who is now planning to launch her very own line of poppadoms and chicken curry.

Confused?

For those of you who aren’t very familiar with why Shilpa is as infamous as she is, the 34 year-old actress’ only claim to fame is her stint on the now defunct Big Brother. There, after a heated battle with fellow contestants Danielle Lloyd and Jade Goody, Shilpa managed to spark a racism row and also walk away as winner. Ever since, the lady clings to the UK with a desperate passion, even though her 15-seconds of fame have dimmed, dulled and rusted over.

And now, for want of a logical reason to stay on in the UK, Ms. Shetty has launched a number of private businesses, most of which are funded by the very generous (and not so bright) Raj Kundra. Some of these include a very forgettable yoga DVD, and a dismal run at the Indian Premier League.

Of her up and coming chicken curry-poppadom business, Shilpa claims that she was so inundated with calls for her famously undercooked chicken curry recipe which incidentally, also sparked the BB controversy, that she came up with the ‘bright’ idea of launching her own line of chicken curry. As an added bonus, Ms. Shetty is also throwing in a poppadom line to humor the departed spirit of the late Jade Goody.

Is your desperation making you a little morbid …. Shilpa darling? Not to mention concern about a boyfriend who refuses to marry you. But seriously, why are you trying to cash in on Jade Goody’s name? The lady has passed on, let her rest in peace. This is in bad taste, don’t you think? Tacky, tasteless and a total wannabe… that’s Shilpa Shetty in a nutshell for you.

Squeeze a bit more!

Shilpa and Raj: Do we sense “cold feet” about the wedding?

Leela — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 07:00:46 +0000

Just yesterday, we spoke about Shilpa on her road to become Mrs. NRI, and today she is refuting the news, saying they are celebrating Raj Kundra’s birthday and there are no wedding plans in the offing.

What is happening Ms. Shetty? The news came from within the family. Hmm, now we are getting suspicious. Is someone getting cold feet? Maybe Raj? Don’t know, just asking. You are saying your hands are full. Full of what may we ask? Sleeping until 2 pm, checking emails, relaxing and then retiring to sleep again at 7 pm? As far as our sources tell us, there isn’t much happening in your career these days.

Can’t hold myself from giving you a tiny winy piece of advice – Make hay while the sun shines. Tie the knot before you get older. Your biological clock is ticking away and there are many young, nubile starlets who will do anything to steal the bright-eyed, Mr Money Bags Raj from right under your nose.

Squeeze a bit more!

Marriage might finally open Shilpa’s eyes to the truth

Lola — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 14:13:43 +0000

After Madhuri and Rakhi Sawant (let us pray that she gets married to Parujanwala finally), now, it is Shilpa Shetty’s turn to become Mrs. NRI, Mrs. Kundra that is. Now that the best years years are gone and there’s nothing better on the horizon, why not get married and cash in on the little bit of publicity that can still be squeezed out of your circumstances?

This marriage can work wonders for Shilpa in many ways. Finally, she might become grounded enough to see the writing on the wall -- there is no career in Bollywood or television and she should really appreciate the forgettable host she plays in Big Boss.

Rather than hosting the copied version, she can now dream of hosting the real deal, Big Brother (yeah right like that will ever happen!). She can even dream about roping in Richard Gere to increase the falling TRP of Big Brother. She might even be able to stick in some of her yoga tricks on the show just for the fun of it!

You have so much to look forward to Shilpa, so go ahead and tie the knot! The future’s er….er…’looking bright’.

Squeeze a bit more!

Everyone’s kissing Shilpa.. this time it’s a priest

Lola — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 08:02:48 +0000

Isn’t anyone kissing anyone else? Richard Gere started it for Shilpa Shetty, and now others cant stop. Not even a priest can get over the charms of this leggy wonder.

Shilpa was shooting at Sakhigopal temple in Orissa when an overjoyed priest bestowed her with a peck on the cheek. Wonder if our serial-kissed Shilpa was bruised by the priest’s fiery fuzziness. A world apart from the clean-shaven smoothness of Gere!

But for all the love she got, the temple authorities are miffed with Shilpa and have slapped charges on her for entering the temple with armed guards and camera crew, for having their shoes on, and, of course, for being kissed.

How this rasik pujari wished he could kiss all Shilpa’s worries away…!

Squeeze a bit more!

Shilpa takes on the media

Lola — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:46:19 +0000

Shilpa Shetty has alleged that she is being made a scapegoat for ‘publicity’.

Shilpa Shetty who? Is it the same girl who won Big Boss because of the oodles of publicity generated by the media coverage of the ‘incident’? Oh! How many millions did you win? Do you remember? If you don’t, just remember this babe – No publicity. No $.

This one is a ‘touchy’ topic for me, so let me carry on.You never had a filmy career dear. All the times when you were in news was either due to your affairs with co-stars and of course Big Brother.

With no films on hand, a doomed cricket team (even Shane Warne is more interested in your sis), no ticket to the next season of Big Boss, how you will get publicity? Only route left is Raj Kundra…hey…hey before you get excited Shilpa, relax! Trust me; we have least interest in your beau. As for yoga, Baba Ramdev has a flatter tummy!

So babes, be thankful to the media for the muft ka publicity…and don’t bite the hand that feeds you!

(I am feeling so much better after doing this – Like i always do )