From the category archives:
Priyanka Chopra
Is Serial Failure Harman Still Stupidly In Love With Piggy Chops?
Filed under : Hurman Baweja, Priyanka Chopra
Harman Baweja may have lost his pride and dignity, but at least he has his spirit to keep him warm at cold cold nights. The Hritik Roshan look-alike was recently found nonchalantly talking about how it doesn’t bother him whether his movies are successful or not. Well, me thinks that’s a great way to stoically look at the road that’s behind you and the one that you are treading upon.
For people, who are talented and work hard to earn their success, a pride for their work is but natural. However those who are fed with a silver spoon and are destined for a career of glamour just because they were born in a certain family… er… things may differ. Of course for Harman, there is not yet reason to celebrate. All three movies he’s acted in haven’t seen much enthusiasm and fanfare at the B.O.
Though I must say, I’m impressed… the boy may not be pulling off any miracles at the box office but he sure is the drama queen when it comes to his love life. Then again, he’s had a fabulous teacher. Even after the boat aka What’s Your Rashee? that he and Priyanka Chopra were together sailing in went down hook, line and sinker, he’s still riding high.
When asked about his secret affair with Piggy Chops, he said that he doesn’t want to deny anything because something may just happen between the two of them. This could mean two things. One, that he is an eternal romantic who’s optimistic about his lady love running back into his open arms. Two, he’s an idiot who doesn’t have a single hit under his belt but has let Priyanka use him in her ongoing hustle for cheap publicity.
Either way, Harman, we couldn’t care less. Your love for Priyanka-inflicted punishment seems to know no bounds and your professional apathy is pathetic…maybe that’s why you come across as lacking in charisma, an essential characteristic for any successful movie star.
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When Ashutosh Gowarikar made Lagaan, no one complained about the length of the movie. It was a great movie and the viewer watched the saga of the village cricket team with rapt attention.
Then came Swadesh. It was refreshingly simple and it may have kind of dragged a bit at places, but it was sweet and the viewers were inclined to forget the length of the movie. The NRI and his effort to give the village electricity was a heartwarming tale.But it lasted wayyyyy to long!
Jodha Akbar was splendid and the sheer large scale of the movie made it an epic so we yawned our way to end just to see the climax. Once again Ashutosh managed to get away with a long movie without any one complaining too much but we are reaching saturation point.
Look Ashutosh, not to burst your bubble or anything dude….but have you ever heard of something called editing? Seems as if What’s Your Rashee? is yet another snooze-fest and this is cause for concern. This movie does not have either the taut plots like Lagaan and Swadesh, nor does it have the epic substance of your Jodha Akbar. So tell me why would anyone (with a life) want to sit through a half that lifetime watching an already over-exposed, synthetic Priyanka throwing out 12 different versions of that vapid, colorless personality? Get my drift? Back to the editing room!
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Seems as if ‘Katrina Kaif‘ has been twittering away merrily discussing scripts with fans and even promising to consider future projects with people from the industry. Problem is…. this is not the real Katrina Kaif but an impersonator who has set up a Twitter account using Kat’s identity. When Katrina (the real one) came to know about it, she was shocked. She has officially released a statement declaring that she does not have any account on Twitter and there is someone else who is using her identity and creating all the confusion.
Now we wonder who might be the culprit? An unknown fan perhaps or maybe a Bollywood insider who has a Twitter fixation and lots of time on his/her hands? (Did Priyanka, Karan Johar, Gul Panag and Mallika Sherawat just log off very quickly?).
Much as we empathize, we hope that Kat and her handlers won’t make too much of this incident and squeeze it dry for every iota of cheap publicity and fan sympathy it can generate. We’re so tired of the Bollywood bratpack and their followers blowing every little teacup storm out of proportion, trying to create big empty dramas out of frivolous, non-events. Spare us the ‘”breaking news repetitious nausea” on this one okay people?
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To a lot of movie fans, Shahid Kapoor‘s character Charlie in the hit movie Kaminey came through as someone who was gay…someone who wanted or had more than a business relationship with his buddy and handsome partner in crime Mikhail. The vibes were very strong. Were these simply two good actors or was there something more that the director wanted to portray?
I can just imagine the conversation Vishal Bhardwaj may have had with Shahid, explaining the character to him …
Vishal: Dude I think Charlie and Mikhail are a couple
Shahid: Like Abhishek and John?
Vishal: No like Abhishek and Aishwarya
Shahid: ????? ‘Scuse me?
Vishal: Nah Forget it!
The question is… did Vishal want to make Charlie and Mikhail a couple? Or did Shahid unconsciously project the unspoken attraction envisioned by Vishal Bhardwaj? Is this why so many people sensed the gay undertones in the the Spiderman scene when both of them roll over each other?
They had even plan to run off together when they make a pile of money. Very, very romantic wouldn’t you say?
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Scheming Priyanka: Daddy would be ashamed of her ploys and pretences
Filed under : Bitchiest, Priyanka Chopra
So Priyanka Chopra has finally decided to come clean on her relationship status. For the uninitiated, she has lately been dropping hints of a mysterious beau, whom she would not name but at the same time she claims that she isn’t not really seeing anyone. That’s almost obvious Priyanka because you can’t really see people who do not exist!
What’s even funnier, while she tells the world that she has not been romantically linked with any of her co-stars so far, she also asks a sombre question ‘how would a father would react to the rumours of his daughter having a string of affairs?‘
Umm… I don’t know Priyanka, how about you answer this question for us though? How does your father feel about you honey, since you are the one who first created all the hype about your romantic entanglements in the first place?
Priyanka when you say that you would shout from the rooftops if you ever find ‘the one’, I for one believe you. Knowing you, as we all indeed do, you would definitely be the one to shout out all intimate secrets from your personal life! You would probably take out press, radio and television ads, hire a blimp to write it in the sky and even invite Ekta Kapoor to dramatize the event if you thought it would earn you some free publicity and a Bollywood role. Yup…you’re that desperate for fame. Frightening huh?
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‘7 Husbands’ For Overexposed Priyanka Is Too Much For Us To Stomach!!
Filed under : Bitchiest, Priyanka Chopra
After her much talked about dirty dozen roles in Ashutosh Gowarikar’s What’s your Raashee?, Piggy Chops is back doing what she does best – generating unnecessary publicity about her multifarious roles in Vishal Bharadwaj’s soon to be announced 7 Husbands.
Rumour has it than an enterprising Mr. Bharadwaj has roped in Ms. Chops to essay not just one, or two, but seven different roles. And surprise, surprise… Ms. Chops is now scheduled to play 7 coy, blushing “dulhans” to 7 men.
Gee… let me think. If 12 roles = 12 signs of the zodiac, do 7 roles mean that Piggy Chops is treated to a new “dulha “every day of the week? Oooh… Draupadi much?
Does the word OVERKILL ring any bells,Vishal?
I know you’re trying to cash in on our Bollywood industrywallahs’ ‘me too’ syndrome, where every formula that even remotely smacks of mega bucks at the B.O. has to be instantly replicated. So, if 12 awkwardly-dressed Priyankas can catapult Mr. Gowarikar into the realm of mainstream mega-success, why, pray why, should you be left behind?
The point however, that you seem to be so delightfully oblivious to, is that there can indeed be too much of a good thing… in fact, too many of a good thing in this case. Sure, Piggy Chops can act – Kaminey is a testament to the fact, but multiple dulhans… that too, back to back?
Do I hear your financier gleefully counting all the crores he’s saved on not roping in 6 more pouting tartlets, all at the cost of boring his audience to painful tears?
And while we are on the topic of overkill Priyanka, do us all a favor and stop harping on about your different ‘hair bounces’ (whatever that means), like you did with What’s Your Raashee? We don’t want to know how bouncy your hair is, and what brand of shampoo/conditioner you are slyly marketing with your strategic quotes. There’s only so much of your ‘desperate for dollar$’ selling ploys we can handle and we are reaching saturation point!
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Has Priyanka jinxed Hurman Baweja’s charmed life with bad luck?
Filed under : Harman Baweja, Priyanka Chopra
Hurman Baweja was supposed to be destiny’s child. With father Harry Baweja’s money and influence backing him and a gorgeous girlfriend like Priyanka Chopra in tow, he should have been a superstar by now. Unfortunately for him, his first movie Love 2050 was a grand fiasco. In fact, people most people couldn’t understand if he played a robot in the movie or a human. Sad… Sadder was the fact that girlfriend Priyanka Chopra immediately ditched him and made a move for greener pastures.
Now poor Hurman has put all his hopes on his upcoming movie What’s Your Rashee? where he has been paired up with twelve different versions of his one single ex girlfriend. That must be difficult to handle! On top of that, we hear him saying ‘It’s justified if women want to dominate men’.
Seems as if confused, goofy Hurman must be suffering the effects of a Priyanka jinx. Nothing has gone right for him since he first laid eyes on Priyanka….. massive movie flop, failed relationships, empty babbling about lame issues and now another iffy looking movie release with the same Piggy Chops pretending to be his secret lover.
Is Hurman a glutton for punishment? Much as his new movie is based on astrology, did he think to consult astrologers before linking up with Priyanka again? Surely after all that bad luck first time around, he would have thought to double check the stars before rolling dice with Piggy Chops again. If he did, I have a feeling he would have been told, “No way! Bad luck and bad career move. Run like the wind as far as your feet can carry you and never look back.”
A word to the wise, dear Hurman….If I were you, I would seek a quick closure on the Piggy Chops chapter of my life. And, I would be sure to wear good luck charms from all 12 signs of the zodiac whenever I am around her. Knock on wood!
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Yikes! Shallow fame-hustler Priyanka now sells herself as a ‘deep woman’!
Filed under : Bitchiest, Priyanka Chopra
Oh Priyanka Chopra, you are so smart, you give all of us women new reasons to celebrate ourselves. Was this what you wanted to hear when you went around telling people that you’re so deep, you can still find a thirteenth avatar in yourself after playing twelve different roles in What’s You Rashee?
Hmmm… maybe after your secret boyfriend ruse and your ‘Gerard Butler can’t live without me‘ lies didn’t work out in your favor, you’re trying to elicit responses from them feminists by trying to sell yourself as a deep woman who’s in touch with her inner self.
Forgive me but I can’t seem to wrap my head around that one! And which deep inner self is that one Priyanka? The hallucinating one with a single digit IQ that can’t figure out by now we all know your vacuous babbling is nothing more than empty hype to promote some lame plot movie you hope to foist on an unsuspecting public?
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Thanks to TweetQueen Piggy Chops, everyone’s on the Twitter bandwagon now, even if they don’t have anything to tweet about. Ranbir Kapoor started tweeting almost two months ago, yet has only one tweet to his credit. He hasn’t had the time (read: inclination) to follow doting girlfriend Deepika Padukone, but has nevertheless chosen to keep tabs on Sonam Kapoor’s tweets.
Hmmmm…. I’m not saying anything, not yet, at least.
I wonder how long Deepika will take all this stuff from Rocket Singh, being sidelined, being called ‘one’ of the girls in his life, and so on. Are you so hard up to be a Kapoor bahu, really, Deepika?
Also, if all Ranbir can manage is only a tweet per quarter, why did he even bother to set up an account? Take your cue from the biggest twit herself…er…I mean biggest tweeter, Piggy Chops, who tweets every empty self-promoting thought and frivolous, $0.02 cent quote with clockwork precision. Even if nobody’s reading …..
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Perhaps this is why Aamir Khan does one movie a year, though it has its own risk of being seen too little in the public space.
What Aamir does is to put all his energy in one movie, and then promote it by fair means or foul. Remember how he took up the cudgels for the Narmada campaign overnight when Rang De Basanti was in the halls? Never mind that he was then the brand ambassador of Coca Cola, who was guzzling water in a Kerala village. And now he’s going about calling himself an idiot (his next movie is 3 Idiots) and referring to SRK as “too intelligent” in the same sentence, which hits the proverbial two birds with one stone.
But, let me not digress. Aamir’s strategy does work, and ‘Fahid‘ needs to learn, quickly. He’s blabbed about Kaminey so much, that the hype will take some time to die. Especially so because Kaminey is a forceful movie.
But Shahid doesn’t have time, Dil Bole Hadippa is breathing down his neck, and he quickly has to change avatars. Kaminey has been a huge hit and expectations are way too high from Shahid and his performance in his forthcoming movies will be gauged by the Kaminey meter.
Recently, he said somewhere that he’s surprised at not being linked with Rani Mukherjee, as he’s always being linked up with his co-stars. Take the cue, Shahid, we still haven’t gotten over the act you and Piggy Chops put up pre-Kaminey.
And once DBH is through, Chance Pe Dance will be on us soon enough. Shahid, we understand that Johnny-come-latelies like you need to cash in before the magic dies down, but audience fatigue and boredom may set in sooner if you try to stuff yourself down our throats this way!
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