From the category archives:
Blue
After getting depressed because he did not get a solo song with Kylie Minogue as promised in Blue, Zayed Khan seems to have recovered pretty fast. So what if he could not “Chiggy Wiggy” with a Kylie solo? He regained lost ground by gifting Kylie Minogue with a sari. What is more, the sari fit her pretty well. Zayed says she is the same size as his wife …. Ahem! Yes we know Zayed.
Did you at any time during the gifting process ever stop to think that a sari is a very personal and therefore inappropriate gift for a married man to present to a woman? I am sure you had no ulterior motive in mind. You simply wanted to make good with an international star who would have some useful showbiz connections in the outside world. Given the number of rejections you’ve been facing in Bollywood recently, you might need to start looking elsewhere for recognition and work. Smart move but nevertheless when buying gifts for attractive women, consider impersonal gifts like Kashmiri rugs and pieces of art …okay Zyed? Such choices will keep you happily married.
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After creating much bad blood all over Bollywood land, Shah Rukh Khan is now trying to make things right by extending his olive branch everywhere. Recently, Shah Rukh Khan went apologizing to Aishwarya, hoping to work with her again. Then after he was mauled by the media for creating the ruckus over his detention at Newark, he has been trying to set things right in the light of his upcoming movie My Name is Khan.
It seems that the king has run severely short of publicity stunts. Why else would he go around visiting fellow actors on whom he never even cast a glance before? Though Akshay has always maintained that SRK was the real king indeed, I never knew that they were on such good terms. Now you see photographs of the two superstars together on the sets of Blue. These two are definitely setting an example for others to follow but knowing Bollywood as we all do, something just doesn’t sit right.
Bearing in mind there are also big projects for both SRK and Akki lined up for release, I can’t help but wonder if both of them have come together because they have exhausted all the cheap hype options they are allowed as aging male Bollywood bigwigs. Unlike the femme fatales like Rani Mukherjee or Mallika Sherawat they are not allowed to flash a little boob here and there or saunter around in teeny-weeny bikinis for drooling camera men. So poor ol’ SRK and Akki must keep their pants on and squeeze the phony BFF/nice-guys publicity ruse for all it’s worth. Ah, life can be an *itch sometimes.
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The fabled Next Generation of Bollywood filmmakers has finally arrived – one that refuses to bow down to the Sooraj Bajratiya and Yash Chopra formula of soppy love stories and yawn-inspiring tedious family sagas. This new breed of filmmakers dares to be ‘different’, ‘think outside the box’ and ‘venture into hitherto unchartered terrain’… at least, that’s what they say.
Take for example the very articulate Anthony D’souza who, in numerous lengthy interviews, goes into great detail about how he has “plumbed the depths of the ocean” to make a “never-seen before film” named Blue. Sounds good in theory, but is Blue really as ‘groundbreaking’ as Mr. D’souza would like us to believe? Early audiences have already posted premature reviews, hinting very strongly at how Blue is inspired by the 1977 Peter Yates-directed The Deep and Jaws, but is not an exact copy of either of them.
For me, I think Mr. D’souza’s lame choice of name is the first signal of his unoriginal offerings. This is quite obvious when you consider that the plot, premise and even the choice of characters sounds eerily similar to the Jessica Alba starrer – Into the Blue. A far cry from the ‘never-seen before’ claims of Mr. D’souza, don’t you think?
Joining the queue is a starved-for-ideas Sanjay Leela Bhansali who delivers a double whammy with two of his ventures – one released and touted as one of the ‘most sensitive’ films made by Bollywood to date, and the other which is still in the early drawing board stages. For those of you who don’t quite follow, I’m referring to the much over-hyped and over-lauded Black, which in all honesty, is a shabby, over-hammed recreation of the Helen Keller biopic – The Miracle Worker. The other film is tentatively named Guzaarish, and projected to star Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai. But by Mr. Bhansali’s own admission it is based on the Hugh Jackman & Christian Bale starrer The Prestige. Yes, I know it sounds ludicrous to place Mr. Roshan in Mr. Wolverine’s impressive, hunky boots… but that’s exactly what this post is all about! However before you fall down laughing, just stay with me till the end. This is serious stuff.
In their eagerness to break the norms and appear ‘unconventional’, have our Bollywood filmmakers discarded the all-important Golden Rule of originality and authenticity? Are we, the unwitting audience, being served half-baked, cheesy rip-offs under the guise of well-made masterpieces? To me the answer is obvious.
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