Can we get real about this fake Miss Universe show?

We’ve all heard that story about how these Donald Trump-sponsored global beauty contests are all about a ‘lethal combination’ of beauty and brains. And to be honest, it isn’t surprising for Mr. Trump to go down predictability lane, yet again, especially when you consider the Miss California fiasco which had Mr. Trump assuaging the bruised ego of well-endowed pro-gay sponsors.

But what’s really surprising is the way our desi fashion fraternity is lapping up the hogwash fed to them through clever, crowd-pulling PR. Take for instance Miss India Ekta Chaudhary’s recent debacle at the Miss Universe pageant, which had our Indian glamour-squad up in arms about how ‘deserving’ and ‘unlucky’ poor Ekta is. And if that wasn’t astounding enough, one of our country’s leading couture moguls even went so far as to suspect some ‘discrimination’ and ‘foul play’.

Seriously guys, can you not see that these pageants have ‘fake’ written all over them in shiny neon paint? These shows are as fake as the breasts, lips, noses and hair extensions sported by most of the contestants. Still need proof?

Flashback to the year 2000, when a relatively-unknown Priyanka Chopra took her first hesitant steps on the global dais. The judges asked her a relatively boring, and oh-so-predictable question: Who do you think is the most successful woman living today and why?

Being the smarty pants that she is, Miss Chopra wasted no time in spouting the weariest answer of them all: Mother Teresa. Pure genius you say, eh? Well, I beg to differ. If you really read the question like it is supposed to be read, the question asks for a ‘living’ person. Mother Teresa was successful in spreading her message of love, peace and compassion, no doubt, but that’s hardly the most appropriate answer for a question which couldn’t possibly get any more succinct and clear.

So, let’s quit this Sherlock Holmes deduction game once and for all, and take these pageants with a generous pinch of salt, shall we?

And just so that you don’t waste any more precious print space about how your short hair didn’t exactly match your Indian-ness, Ekta… you ain’t all that. Really.