Rajesh Khanna in Bigg Boss

Once upon a time, in a land not-so-far-away, there was a blazing acting stalwart named Rajesh Khanna. Mr. Khanna, who wasn’t exactly your clichéd brawny knight in shining armor, delivered brilliant celluloid masterpieces like Anand, Bawarchi and Aavishkaar… all by sheer force of his unbeatable acting talent.

Fast-forward to the early 21st century, and our dearly beloved Kaka babu underwent a series of hideous transformations, until he finally devolved into a haggard, lecherous has-been, whose movie-selection criteria revolve around the number of voluptuous, scantily-clothed starlets he gets to grope and slather his aging tongue at.

Needless to say, the B-grade flicks tanked without so much as a ripple, leaving a desperate Mr. Khanna to look for greener, juicier, and ‘more youthful’ pastures. Luckily for him, his search coincided with the casting of Bigg Boss 3, which had already lined up silicon-loaded mamas like Sherlyn Chopra and Shamita Shetty.

Ka-ching!

Mr. Khanna was all too eager to grab this amazingly lucrative opportunity to get down and dirty with two of Bollywood’s most oomph-a-licious bimbos. And then, the producers of Bigg Boss 3 divulged the unthinkable… leery Mr. Khanna would be denied his daily rum and coke through the entire duration of his stay in the Bigg Boss House.

Gasp!

Where’s the mazzaa in groping at nubile nymphets if you don’t have your daily dose of daaru to wash it all down? No no, Mr. Khanna would have none of it. With daamad Akshay Kumar roping in a bevy of bikini-clad PYTs for his Khatron ke Khiladi, Mr. Khanna was pretty darn sure he could coerce playboy Akki into pulling a few strings and landing him an equally Don Juan’esque role.

Well, on the brighter side, Mama Dimple and beti Twinkle must be heaving plenty of relieved sighs… given that just about anyone who makes it past the first couple of elimination rounds at Bigg Boss seems to instantly lose any last shred of sanity and good taste.

So for your sakes, fair ladies of the Khanna household, let’s raise a very thankful toast to Bigg Boss and their no-drinking policy! Hic!